So naturally, I wanted a challenge from him. I figured it would have something to do with Steely Dan. I didn't realize it would have to do with so many other things as well.
His challenge:
Write a poem explaining how Steely Dan is the greatest band of all time in a non-ironic, non-sarcastic completely genuine manner, how your dear cousin Adam Witcher Greene agrees that Steely Dan is the greatest band of all time, and that basketball is the greatest sport of all time.
Must be iambic pentameter
My poem:
All We Know Is This
When sunlight bangs against the moon, that's jazz.
My cousins think the sun is a basketball.
Cousin Adam says the moon is just a spazz
whose soft white forehead is a moving backboard.
Our president plays basketball, the sport
of passing, our president, the papers say
Barak HUSSEIN Obama is a part
of the ending nation, part of the sad play
full of actors who strut and fret and reel the years
as Donald Fagan says, the mastermind
of the world's greatest band, oh losers don't fear--
there's a name for you when you win, and it's Ben Grimes,
my brother, author of the ballad "Gynn Tarry".
But I digress! My kin and their opinions
could fill eleven stanzas, outstar stars.
"Steely Dan," says Adam Grimes, my cousin,
"is the world's greatest band," and that's the sum
of some law and knowledge, plus do not
tattoo your bodies for the dead, plus some
of my kin would say I'm better than Nabokov.
He's dead, and I'm not. And basketball, yes,
my cousin Brennan Grimes says (I agree)
it is the best sport, almost as powerful as rest.
Old quarterbacks don't die, they just impede
the progress of the team with bloated ghosts.
Remember former quarterback, AJ
McCarron, how he was known to say, "Quoth
the GAYven, 'I believe in second place'."
But cousins, brothers, countrymen, I do
believe in second place, in the gutrot "okay",
the redemption of our ugly, hated, foes,
and sometimes being worse than Nabokov.
It's impossible to say just what I mean!
With all things being equal, an isometric
indifference curve, your spleen is worth my spleen.
My kin believe my attitude's pathetic.
All Grimeses of the world, unite in panic!
Our reign is but a portion of the Rothschilds',
but it lasts as long as we can fit
jazzlight, sport, and words into our lives.
When sunlight bangs against the moon, that's jazz.
My cousins think the sun is a basketball.
Cousin Adam says the moon is just a spazz
whose soft white forehead is a moving backboard.
Our president plays basketball, the sport
of passing, our president, the papers say
Barak HUSSEIN Obama is a part
of the ending nation, part of the sad play
full of actors who strut and fret and reel the years
as Donald Fagan says, the mastermind
of the world's greatest band, oh losers don't fear--
there's a name for you when you win, and it's Ben Grimes,
my brother, author of the ballad "Gynn Tarry".
But I digress! My kin and their opinions
could fill eleven stanzas, outstar stars.
"Steely Dan," says Adam Grimes, my cousin,
"is the world's greatest band," and that's the sum
of some law and knowledge, plus do not
tattoo your bodies for the dead, plus some
of my kin would say I'm better than Nabokov.
He's dead, and I'm not. And basketball, yes,
my cousin Brennan Grimes says (I agree)
it is the best sport, almost as powerful as rest.
Old quarterbacks don't die, they just impede
the progress of the team with bloated ghosts.
Remember former quarterback, AJ
McCarron, how he was known to say, "Quoth
the GAYven, 'I believe in second place'."
But cousins, brothers, countrymen, I do
believe in second place, in the gutrot "okay",
the redemption of our ugly, hated, foes,
and sometimes being worse than Nabokov.
It's impossible to say just what I mean!
With all things being equal, an isometric
indifference curve, your spleen is worth my spleen.
My kin believe my attitude's pathetic.
All Grimeses of the world, unite in panic!
Our reign is but a portion of the Rothschilds',
but it lasts as long as we can fit
jazzlight, sport, and words into our lives.
Brennan's masterful review:
Review of All We Know Is This
The stanzas flow like the River Nile
The imagery in the first stanza ain’t chopped liver
Love the first line; will have to keep in my file
Congo, Niger, Orange, and Limpopo are also African rivers
Fame equals length is what the kids say
It’s a nice tie-in that Obama likes basketball
And the poem I’m reviewing reminds me of flowers in May:
Sweet. But with Obama in charge, do the cherries blossom on the National Mall?
Third stanza, we finally get to the Dan
But my one complaint is that FagAn is misspelled.
Should be FagEn, Adam Greene is his #1 fan
But of course, you could easily fix the typo after thereview and send me to Hell
And here, the overall theme of the poem comes out
Truly this is about the importance of family and
Achieving immortality through family and art, a Grimes would know no doubt
That family is immortal and of all time, Steely Dan is the greatest band
But back to the previous stanza real quick
“Outstar stars” is a genius phrase in my opinion
Some lines from Leviticus really make me tick
And Nabokov couldn’t do this or my name isn’t Brennan
This stanza, I really like the last line, and how it transitions
I also like the analogy to rest
Rest, I agree, is important and deserves to be mentioned
Right before the QB who will always be second best
To Adam, in his heart, and to Steely Dan musically speaking
AJ McCarron really adds depth to this poem
The perfection of Steely Dan and basketball compared to this weakling
Shows that most of the world is flawed but we must keep on rowin’
And as you said in this stanza, it’s okay to finish in second
And that’s quite an all right sentiment
Which is what the poet in all of us might beckon
But the poets among all people perhaps are first at being sentient
For instance, until this poem and all poems by Ivy, myfavorite poem of all time
Was the Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock. How did you know, unless you could tell
From my prompt, that I would love this stanza’s first line
Much more than sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells?
But the theme hits hard in this final verse.
Family and imperfection and immortality perhaps even love, which is mighty
So I appreciate you not making my difficult prompt terse
I enjoyed what you did with it, well-done, thank you Ivy!
No, thank you, Brennan! Hopefully we will work together on poems and poem-reviews-in-poem-form in the future.
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